funny.

I believe someone is listening to my thoughts.

Last time I wrote here I was thinking, "these posts are kinda serious. I need something funny to write about."

Be careful what you ask for.

Here we go.

Last night the hubs and I were are sitting in our family room, just catching up on our day. The girls were in bed sleeping, but due to a super nap, our son was still up playing with knights and horses.

Then, he was coming, slowly, up the basement stairs. The way we were sitting, I could see the door and the child and my KISA (knight in shining armor) couldn't. I suddenly became boneless. My jaw was on the floor and strange noises were coming out of me like "Ack. Uhhhh. OOOO."

Husband looks at me strangely. "what?" he asks. I still can't talk. I can't move. Finally, the adrenaline kicks in and I leap up to stop the kid from moving any further.

My first thought was pudding. Ruby did this once. But then the smell.  Wafting, pungent it surrounds us and then he knows. My KISA and I spring into action half laughing half gagging. My child was covered. Like the way I protect him with sunscreen, in POOP.

It was crusted between is toes, lathered up his legs like lotion, under his fingernails, a little behind his ears and his arms were straight up brown.

IT WAS DISGUSTING.

As we throw him into the kitchen sink and scrub him with a dish towel we would later throw away, our minds turn to the carpet in the basement.

Oh my.

He had rubbed it into the carpet like he was working grout between tiles. The smell was ghastly. Overwhelming. As I attempt to clean the floor, my husband laughs. He begins to move the furniture and toys aside, rolls up the carpet and drags it out the front door. He later tells me it was so heavy he couldn't get it all the way into the dumpster he chose to shove it into...oops.

I go to my child's side. He is now playing with bubbles in our deep white kitchen sink. He smells sweet and clean and his face is delightful.

And I am suddenly deeply regretful.

In the moment and in reaction I had missed it. No one will believe how hilarious this was. How repulsive, how utterly ridiculous.

I didn't take a picture.

Sometimes, I guess, the memory will have to be enough.

Happy Tuesday everyone.

Britt

"What do you mean I'm ridiculous?"