Photography: I can't jump...PUSH ME.

I can't jump.  Push me.

What makes you shine?  What's comforting and moving, both a solace and drive?  For me it's pictures.

My Soul goes clad in gorgeous things, 

Scarlet and gold and blue, 

And at her shoulder sudden wings 

Like long flames flicker through.  

And she is swallow-fleet, and free

From mortal bonds and bars.

She laughs, because Eternity

Blossoms for her with stars!

-Fannie Stearns Davis

I'll start at the beginning. As long as I can remember I had a camera in my hand.   I was a kid who carried around a gray point and shoot Vivitar everywhere I went.    In junior high I remember taking photos of my friends at sleepovers saying, we'll look back on these days someday (remember I said I was overly sentimental).  I took photos of everything and everyone.  Then after high school my dad bought me a "real camera".  A Canon Rebel 35 mm.

I fell in love.  

I spent a month traveling Europe and took thousands of photos.  I'm not sure if it was the sentiment or the imagery, but I was fascinated and most certainly hooked.  But it was when I had kids that It turned into more.  I have so many pictures of my kids it is ridiculous.  When I had Lucy, my KISA bought me a nice Nikon SLR and recently upgraded again.  (Yep I'm a lucky girl).  But my nostalgia, passion, and dare I say obsession has always overshadowed my knowledge, and confidence.  

I then reconnected with a high school classmate who now has her masters in photography and is an amazing portrait photographer.  She even has a picture perfect studio with darling black & white striped awnings.  (picket fence anyone?) I follow her blog and others like it like sprinkles on a cupcake.  I sit in awe of the bokeh in Skye Hardwicks images.  I marvel at Ree's cattle on pioneerwoman.com.  I think about jumping out of my car every time I drive Lucy to preschool when the autumn morning glow of sunlight hits the perfect tree beyond the cornfield by near our home.

I daydream of having a gallery or a studio, or a simple at home business as a real professional photographer.  I think the daydream alone makes me feel more alive, shinier somehow.

So, you might ask, what's stopping me?  Knowledge that the industry is flooded with a zillion wannabes just like me?  Better maybe.  So what?  It's not like I am expecting to be the next Annie Leibovitz.  Realistically it isn't fair to compare myself to photographers who have been doing this everyday for years as a career.  The work I'm looking at is the best of the best, of course I don't stand up.  We all have to start somewhere and once upon a time these geniuses were just like me (well less neurotic no doubt). 

So here I go...gulp..

If you read this (oh my) please contact me (#$%@) to set up a shoot.  The result may be a happy accident and a plethora of fabulous images or a disappointment of blurred snapshots, but either way it will get me moving and right now I just need to jump and I can't seem to do it alone.  Push me please.


(I better click away before I delete this whole entry)

Talk to you tomorrow.